Everybody Loves Freeman!
by Talking Raptors
Summary: A person who knows nothing of Freeman, collects her [NEGATIVE] thoughts about him. Wrote it on a whim. Please read and review.


A/N: I wrote this on a whim, really…Flames and critics welcome.

**Everybody Loves Freeman!**

Freeman.

Was I about the only person who did not have a clue of who he was?

The only person who did not even have a clue of the Black Mesa incident?

Yes, I guess I totally am. Kain Logans, the only female with little experience with a weapon, has to fight in City 17. Everyone does.

And, everyone also knows the infamous, the so-called 'Free man'.

Sure, everyone has been talking about how Gordon Freeman only armed with a crowbar killed this and that…

I believed that.

That was, until I met Gordon Freeman _himself._

---

_An event I recalled…_

"Hey! Medic, come join our squad! We need medics here!" A beanie and a rifle, a man centered in a group of people wearing the same thing called to me, when I wandered around the remains of City 17. Seeing as they wanted me I walked to them, carrying the same rifle, and wearing what medics wear.

"Uh, no. I just happen to have unlimited supply of medkits." I think I have superpowers or something. Heh.

"Well you're wearing that, now come on!"

Ahem, let's fast forward to a more comforting memory.

Just now, some of our squad parted because they wanted to join Freeman's squad, until I was the only one, and decided to venture…then I found myself in his squad.

"Doctor Freeman, wait for me!" "Doctor Freeman, cover me while I reload!"

He did not do those things.

Number one, of Everybody Loves Freeman: let's look at this anonymous person in our squad, a male rebel, who shoots, but misses the combine.

Of course, once he reloads, his protection goes off to zero. So, Freeman he calls.

"Doctor Freeman, cover me while I reload!"

Instead, Freeman decides to search for some Easter eggs, leaving us to fend for ourselves. Eventually, some, including I, did nothing at all, when he came back and took care of it.

Everybody Loves Freeman, number two: Live bait.

Here's a road, with a sniper at a window that shoot whatever moves in his sight. The squad is taking cover behind a brick wall, running out of ammo, and as well, time.

Freeman with his space suit, stares at the road with his gravity gun. A male medic in our squad looked up, and said with such enthusiasm, "Great idea Freeman."

Running across the road, the medic…

The blue guiding laser points straight at the medic, and Freeman runs to the other side.

BANG

"Okay, Doctor Freeman."

BANG

"Whatever you want, Doctor Freeman."

BANG

That's three.

Sick bastard.

Everybody Loves Freeman, number 3: The purple dinosaur has a crowbar fetish.

Overwatch Nexus. Our squad is now combined with Barney, who, with such great firing experience and has known Freeman for such a long time, has a deeper secret.

Needless to say, he's one of those people who just can't die by combines. And also to say, Freeman has that too. No, that's not the secret.

I heard from rumors that, he, Barney Calhoun, always has a crowbar around when in a safe zone, Black Mesa East, Doctor Kleiner's lab… Yes, every possible safe zone, supposedly waiting for Freeman to lose his crowbar, so he would collect more.

And he would be _so_ happy every time Freeman broke some supply crate, or some plank or whatnots.

Everybody Loves Freeman, number 4: Command and Control.

"Here, take this medkit," was all I could say when he gets severely shot repeatedly by those floor turrets. Though, I didn't want to inch closer to hand him the medkit, otherwise I could get hurt, or killed, perhaps. Barney! Do something! Don't always depend on him!

Jumping on the head of the turret, he _glared _at a room, opposite of me, and other squad members such as Barney.

"Um, do we...?"

"Just move!" Everyone else moved automatically, like robots. I myself moved to, as if he's _controlling _me.

In that room, I asked Barney, "Freeman is a mage?"

"What're you talking about? Quick, hand me a medkit." No-one is conscious of it.

Everybody Loves Freeman, number 5: Compliments, and fangirls.

"Doctor Freeman, there's finally a chance to talk to you…"

"C'mon Gordon, let's go play with the gravity gun."

"The gravity gun is not a toy—" Then they argue and argue, probably because Gordon Freeman is so popular, etc.

He has many fangirls, for a silent, glasses character with a crowbar. I recalled this event…

"Doctor Freeman, you were so great out there, and I've heard the stories—"

'_You_ were so great out there…?' How about US?

I think I just solved why combines oppose him so much.

Overpowered, silent, glasses crowbar character.

Everywhere he goes; there are combines attacking, and antlions on a rampage.

I think I'll be just fine here, miles away from that unlucky 'free man.'

Still, there's that Magnusson, too impatient of a person to be around, but I'm grateful of Doctor Eli, and Doctor Kleiner—

Oh, crap.

A/N: Lol, Mass Effect. Like, they banned it in Singapore. Good thing I'm not living there anymore 


End file.
